Saturday, February 7, 2015


At this moment, I am at a park with my husband and seven year old daughter. There are two separate birthday parties going that we are not a part of. My husband I take turns playing with our daughter or we both chase her around. Right now he's on the baseball diamond playing imaginary baseball with her, as we didn't bring a bat or ball, they are laughing and having a great time.

As I look around of the probably 20 parents here only two are actually playing with their children. I began to ponder how many times in life we want to play ... But we don't. Just because we are grown ups doesn't mean we shouldn't play especially if it makes us happy.

Playing and laughter are good not just for the outside but it's good for the soul and good for healing those hurt parts of our selves that have been denied that playfulness in our childhood.

Watching adult clients who were abused as children ... Play (literally) ... Often for the first time in their lives ... Is an honor for me to witness and then share the process of seeing the joy in their faces.

Play now! Play hard! Laugh and be kind to each other. ~Uteism
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Friday, November 7, 2014

Being a Parent

Having a baby is nothing! Being a parent is EVERYTHING! Being a parent to a child requires dedication and commitment to loving and supporting your child no matter what. Whether they are brilliant or not, great at sports or not, witty or not ... Whether they make great choices or bad choices ... The way that you parent EVERY single day has a tremendous effect on how your child views himself and they way he faces the world. Be mindful of your words and especially your actions because your child is watching. Whether your child is a baby or an adult ... NEVER EVER ... EVER turn your back on them. They need you always ... It's a lifetime commitment. ~Uteism

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Friday, August 29, 2014

Toxic relationships happen to everyone at least one time or more in life.  This can best be described as being around people that attempt to bring down your sense of self worth or simply tear you down in general by repeatedly reminding you of any mistakes and there is no encouragement whatsoever.  Being around toxic people is exhausting because YOU are the punching bag (hopefully not literally) emotionally you continuously take hits from them.  When you leave the toxic person there is a rock in the pit of your stomach and you feel drained and your sense of self worth is diminished.

The solution?  Boundaries!!!  Boundaries are created to protect yourself from these blows and they may include limiting time spent with these people, speaking your truth and not allowing them to speak to you in a toxic manner or walking away from them completely.  Sometimes boundaries are hard to set up.  If you are struggling with boundaries please give me or a therapist in your area a call and arrange an appointment as soon as possible.  ~Uteism

   “If people refuse to look at you in a new light and they can only see you for what you were, only see you for the mistakes you've made, if they don't realize that you are not your mistakes, then they have to go.”

― Steve Maraboli

Friday, August 15, 2014

We Cannot Control Others But We Can Control Ourselves

Lately, I feel so much sadness and unrest coming from the world around me. From the events happening in other countries that we hear so little about because it's so incredibly horrific, to the loss of a wonderful famous person like Robin Williams, the racial rioting in Ferguson, and in local news there are murders every day. Amid all of this it is so easy to forget to appreciate what we have, when in fact, if we ALL stopped holding grudges, hating each other, trying to right wrongs from yesterday and we tried something different today by appreciating each other right now in this very moment ... These terrible things wouldn't be happening. But we can't control others, we can only control ourselves.

If we take the opportunity to have gratitude for the ability of being able to wake up and experience a new day our perspective can change and we will lead by example. Whatever happened yesterday doesn't matter anymore. Today you have an opportunity to make things new and change outcomes.

Taking responsibility can be freeing and life changing. So you screwed up yesterday ... Own it! Accept that you messed up and do things differently today. That is how we learn ... It is also how we grow. Great people in your life will either hold a grudge and if that's the case you don't need them anyway or they will honor your willingness to try again. The only catch to this is taking action! Don't just say you messed up and you are sorry. Do something about it!

Appreciate the new day. Have gratitude for each moment you have. Tomorrow is never a guarantee ... We can't change what happened yesterday ... But Today ... Right now in this moment ... You matter! Everything around you matters! Choose to live you life and appreciate this very moment!

Blessings to you all! Carpe Diem! Seize the Day!

“Forget yesterday - it has already forgotten you. Don't sweat tomorrow - you haven't even met. Instead, open your eyes and your heart to a truly precious gift - today.”

― Steve Maraboli

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Friday, August 8, 2014


Please take a moment for gratitude today.

I am so thankful that my family and especially my children know freedom. They have never had to live their lives concerned for where they will sleep or whether they will eat. They have never gone to bed wondering if they will be alive in the morning due to a nightly air strike or worse from living in a war torn country.

My mother being born in 1944 in Germany knew all to well the effects of growing up in a country torn apart by war.

Even that cannot compare to the threats of today's war torn countries.

If I had the opportunity to attain any Super Power I could ... I would ask to have the ability to amicably resolve conflicts so our entire world would be at peace and we could all live side by side with love and respect for each other with compassion and understanding for our differences. I hope my wish comes true in my lifetime.

Today my gratitude is for my compassion, empathy, freedom, family and my capacity to love and being loved.

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Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Friendship; A Great Source of Support

Friends are there when you can't go to your spouse/ partner (that doesn't mean your partner isn't your best friend ... It just means that you need a different type of support). Friends will defend you even when your wrong and lovingly explain that you were wrong and help you fix it.

True friends are hard to find ... But it doesn't mean that people aren't your friend because they don't know everything about you or they may make different choices than you.

There are different types of friends: the casual friend that you are social with but don't share intimate details with; the old friend that's been around since childhood and know every detail of you growing up; the soul friend or kindred spirit friend, that from the moment you met you felt connected and can tell them everything, the parents of my children's friends that you hang out as families with. This doesn't mean a certain type of friend won't be in more than one role. A few of my children have introduced me to kindred spirit friends.

My point is ... Never say no to a friendship. If it becomes a toxic friendship then learn to set boundaries and be honest about why you need to set those boundaries. It's a common practice to just drop friends without a word as to why. What if that person did not know what they did ... Give them the opportunity to understand you and the option to correct whatever hurt they may have caused you. If they continue their behavior then you have afforded them the opportunity for understanding and you should set the boundaries and they know exactly why even if they do not admit it.

I recently went to Busch Gardens in Tampa, Florida and was blessed enough to watch three Bengal Tigers frolicking and playing in the water ... The truest form of friendship and bonding is playing together.

Friends are made up of memories, trust, faith and love ... Along with laughter, tears, fights and fears!

Make the time to stay connected to your friends ... Sometimes they are the family that you hand picked for yourself! ~Uteism

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Thursday, July 24, 2014

It's the little things

I'm on vacation with my husband and our two youngest children in Myrtle Beach, SC. (Which is pretty much exactly the same as any beach town back home). I'm the non-risk taker in my family: not a fan of bungee jumping, roller coasters, pretty much anything that does not have my two pretty feet planted firmly on the ground. Oh and eating at buffets gross me out (too many people with gross eating habits ... Touching utensils that I have to touch afterwards and people just being gross and having bad manners. Pretty much taking a bite of something and putting back on the buffet ... That killed it for me). So yesterday, we stopped at a quaint local favorite restaurant called Mammy's Kitchen and I bucked up and ate the buffet ... I only looked directly at my own plate and not the people around me while piling food on my plate. I put lots of artery-clogging goodness on my plate and ... It was quite tasty. My family was shocked and I ate good food.

I'm not a fan of water parks either ... But yesterday the family wanted to go to a water park ... So off we went. I did mention that I'm not so thrilled with being high up right? Well ... When your beautiful 6 year old little girl looks at you and says, "Mommy, will you take me on THAT one?" With her big gorgeous eyes pleading at me and her father no where in sight ... I said, "Honey are you sure you want to go on THAT slide? How about the really cool lazy river ride?"
"No Mommy. I want to go on this one with YOU."
... So we got in line ... We climbed the mountainous stairs with these flimsy little blue raft-like things that we are supposed to lay on to go down this slide that may as well be like jumping off of the Empire State Building! This is it ... We are at the top and I put my daughter on the inside lane ... (so if one of us flew off it would be me) ... I laid myself down on the flimsy little blue raft-like thingy and down I went ... I couldn't see my daughter because my life was flashing before my eyes too quickly! I know I went airborne twice ... I'm sure at least one explicative came out of my mouth ... As I finally ... Came to a stop I looked up and there was my husband and son both grinning from ear to ear. My husband with pride because he knows I just conquered a fear and my son because of the sheer look of terror on my face. I look back and there is my daughter with a big smile.

I wasn't the "stick in the mud" anymore. It really is the little things that make mountains out of mole hills. My perception of uncertain death from eating from buffets and of going down the Empire State Building slide was just that ... A perception with an open mind to try it a little differently. I still will NEVER EVER bungee jump but I'm willing to think about other things I said no to before.

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Location:Myrtle Beach, SC